Planet Of The Apes (2001)
		Genre: Sci-Fi Director: Tim Burton Rating: PG-13 Running Time: 118 Minutes Release Date: July 27, 2001 Official Website: http://www.planetoftheapes.com Movie Trailer: View it now! Discuss and vote: Go to Forums	Cast: Mark Wahlberg Tim Roth Helena Bonham Carter Michael Clarke Duncan Kris Kristofferson Estella Warren Paul Giamatti Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa David Warner

Pickup Line: An Evolution In Filmmaking

Quickie: In the year 2029, a US Air Force pilot aboard his space pod is sucked into some sort of vortex and undergoes a time warp, then crash lands on a planet where apes rule and humans drool.

The Long Review:

"Planet Of The Apes" is a visual spectacle of cosmic proportions. The first thing you'll notice about this film is the stunning make-up artistry. The cosmetic job done here is so good, you forget that you're watching actors, and not real talking apes. This "re-imagining" of the 1968 classic tells the story of Leo (Mark Walhberg), a US Air Force pilot who is sucked into a vortex in space, fast forwards in time, and crash lands his space pod on a planet where apes rule humans (who are nothing more than slaves). His outward defiance of the big-nosed creatures soon makes him a target for the apes, and a hero to the oppressed humans. And in true "Gladiator"-style, Leo stands up the cheeky monkeys…er…damn, dirty apes, and decides to show 'em who's boss.

"Planet Of The Apes" is perhaps the most anticipated, most hyped up movie of the summer. Did it deliver? Well, yes and no. Yes, it's a majestic production with lavish set design, incredible make-up artistry, and a damn impressive cast, namely their ape walks. The diverse scenery comprises of intricately primitive ape dwellings, marshy grounds, and dry, rocky landscape resembling badlands. And have we mentioned the make-up? We haven't seen such an extreme transformation from human to ape since Michael Jackson. The cosmetic job is very detailed and real-looking, it's scary. And speaking of the Jacksons, the character of Helena Bonham Carter, Ari, looks eerily like Janet Jackson. No offense, Janet, "Ms. Jackson if you're nasty". As for the cast, they all do a pretty decent job. Mark Wahlberg is the perfect pick to play a straightforward lad with just one thing on his mind: escape. Estella Warren sure does a good job of emoting, even though she probably has only 10 lines of dialogue. We're sure the male population will appreciate how she fills that animal-skin costume of hers, too. And the actors playing apes do the ape walk so well, it's unnerving. We bet their muscles were crying for a fully erect posture throughout filming.

In terms of the movie's story, dialogue, and character development, it gets a little hairy. There are a few missing pieces in the plot. During and after the movie, you may find yourself saying, "Huh? Wha?! Where did that come from? What did that mean?" But hey, there's your motivation to join a discussion group or something. The ending raises some controversy as well. We won't say anymore lest we give too much away. The dialogue is simplistic and cheesy, you're not sure whether you're supposed to be sympathizing or laughing. And as for character development…what character development? Sure, the actors play their parts well but the parts they play barely have any character. Does that make sense? We don't feel a connection to the humans and apes we see on the screen because well, we don't know them.

And did Roger Ebert do bananas over this movie? Well, "The movie could have been more…It could have, but it doesn't. It's a cautious movie, earning every letter and numeral of its PG-13 rating. Intellectually, it's science fiction for junior high school boys…'Planet of the Apes' is the kind of movie that you enjoy at times, admire at times, even really like at times, but is it necessary?… [Tim Burton]'s made a film that's respectful to the original, and respectable in itself, but that's not enough. Ten years from now, it will be the 1968 version that people are still renting." Hmmm…'guess not. We guess your appreciation of this movie depends on what you want from it. If you want awesome make-up artistry, a provoking premise, and just something very different from what you're used to watching, then "Planet Of The Apes" just may do the trick. But if you're looking for engaging dialogue, a tight story, and straight answers, then chances are, you won't appreciate it. Now, if your life was changed after watching the 1968 version of this film, well….hmmm…we best not even go there.

In Two Minutes:

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Did you know?

• The actors playing apes actually went to "Ape School" to master the art of ape. Wow…we wonder if doing such a thing has any unwelcome side effects? Like having the urge to pick people's hair for lice, perhaps?
• In an interview, Mark Wahlberg confessed that his biggest fear about making this movie was having to wear a loincloth. Well, his fear wasn't realized..neither was the dream of millions of panting women.
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