Get Carter (2000)

The Long Review:

Get Carter is a crime/action flick that attempts to adopt the atmosphere of Pulp Fiction…and fails. Scenes are made to look artsy and although it's pretty and all, they just don't cut it. You see, you need to have an enthralling plot to go with the pretty scenes. And unfortunately, Get Carter doesn't have one.

It's about a hitman, Jack Carter (Sylvester Stallone), who is obsessed with proving that his little brother was bagged and bagging the people who bagged his Ii'l bro. Think about it for a minute. But trust us, although the sentence looks complicated, it's pretty damn simple. Just as the plot of this film looked complex, when really, it's laughably simplistic. And that's one of the main rip-offs of this film. In the trailers, they made Get Carter look action-packed, sophisticated, and exciting. Well, it's not. When it comes down to it, you can summarize the extent of the story in one sentence. One. No kidding. It's like being taken on a wild joy only to end up half a block from where you started. In the end, you feel plain cheated.

The action is also lacking, since the makers of this film opted to focus on the emotional side of the film. Translation: Stallone getting in touch with his feminine side. That's fine. Whatever toots their horn. But it seemed like cheesy dialogue was an important ingredient in the recipe for getting Stallone in an emotive scene! His dramatic moments would have been better had he just sniffed and choked instead of spewing out those majorly corny lines. C'mon now. They traded in some potentially incredible action scenes for that? Sheesh! And besides, we doubt that people see a Sly Stallone movie to see the big guy get soft and sentimental! Well, at least, we don't think people are coming out to see Get Carter because they are lured by the promise of a dramatic rendition from Stallone. They want some thrilling action, baby! And the select semi-artistic shootout scenes, even the sexy scenes that they get are simply not enough.

Speaking of thrilling, the acting was not. Everyone delivered mediocre performances. Stallone made for a good hitman but then again, he's Stallone. He's Mr. Cool Killer himself. It's not like he went out of his way and bended over backwards to play this role. And Rachael Leigh Cook doesn't do much, except pout, mope, and grunt. She displayed a better range in She's All That, we tell ya. As for the rest of the characters, they serve more as decorations than contributors to the plot. Hey, might as well have something nice to look at, right?

Now, before we stamp Get Carter as a total write-off, we should concede that there is one aspect of the movie that scores pretty decently in the coolness scale. We're talking about its scene transition. It's really cool. Instead of the usual close-ups and zoom-outs, you get some pretty nifty effects, almost MTV-like. You'll ooh and aah and appreciate the unconventional approach to fading in and out. In a way, you'll be looking forward to the next scene, not because you can't wait to see what's going to happen next but because you can't wait to see how the next scene is going to introduce itself!

Overall, Get Carter is a movie best seen in video. It's just not worth paying more than five bucks for. It's slow, dragging, bland, and uneventful flick that doesn't meet expectations. So either don't expect much or don't see it at all.