Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

The Long Review: "What do you think is more exciting? Having sex or stealing cars?" "How about having sex while stealing cars?" Hehehehe…It's quirky lines like these that give "Gone In Sixty Seconds" its likeability amidst all the chrome and rubber. Although people either didn't expect it to have a plot (I confess I was one of them!!) or didn't like the plot, "Gone In Sixty Seconds" deserves some defense.

First off, it's not just about cars (But the cars sure were perty!!-Guru Dudu). The dialogue wasn't just composed of "Vroom! Vroom!" and "Beep! Beep!". The writers really tried to put some humanity in their characters. Nicolas Cage plays Memphis Raines, a retired car thief who's opted to live in the slow lane by running a gas station and go-kart track (not exactly Club Med, huh?) He's forced out of retirement when his kid brother Kip (Giovanni Ribisi), who followed in big brother's footsteps, mucks up one of his gigs and leads the cops right to his big boss' (Christopher Eccleston) den. Gone are Kip's job, the big boss' cars…and Kip's head if big bro doesn't come to the rescue! And he does. Memphis agrees to steal 50 cars in 3 days to save his little brother from being turned into a used auto part.

It's a solid plot. Right? Right? The story descends nicely from its building point to its climax. It was like MI-2 "Cops" style as Memphis assembled his old crew to complete the mission: The dream team includes Otto Halliwell, Stolen Car Mechanic Extraordinaire (Robert Duvall) and Sway, Memphis' hottie ex-girlfriend. The rookies assisting the veteran car thieves are comprised of Kip and his little friends. Nice touch, foiling the old generation versus the new.

It was pure adrenaline and suspense watching the crew assemble and prepare for the big heist. You just wanted to watch them hotwire those hot rods! You find yourself cheering for thieves and loving it. A lot.

The cast does a plausible job. They're believable enough that you forget they own cars like the ones they steal in real life. Bastards. One glaring absence from most of the scenes is that of Angelina Jolie. The economy size of her role left a lot of people (99 percent of them male) yearning for more of those blond dreads and red lips. But in those scenes she was present, she was like a breath of fresh air in a room stinking of Valvoline.

And those car chases. Oooooh, those car chases. They bring your bps from normal to erratic in a lot less than sixty seconds. Now I'm usually bored by car chases. But I really liked this one. And so did Guru Dudu. 'Cuz he revved his car out of the theatre parking lot like a bat out of hell. But it just wasn't the same…'cuz he doesn't drive a Ferrari.

The movie's ending was somewhat predictable, a bit cheesy, but it did its job. It finished the story, slowed the engine. There's a particular line during the concluding scene that was so corny, it made me grimace. But I'm prepared to excuse it…'cuz "Gone In Sixty Seconds" gave us one hell of a ride.