The Replacements (2000)

The Long Review:

The Replacements is one of those sports movies where you know exactly what's going to happen, how it's going to happen, and how it's going to end. Hey, you've seen Wildcats and The Mighty Ducks, right? So no surprises here. But it is entertaining and you do get a few laughs along the way.

Based on the 1987 NFL strike, The Replacements tells the story of well, a replacement team of has-beens put together to replace the picketing Washington Sentinels by an equally has-been coach (Gene Hackman). The movie shows us their clumsy, comical run as underdogs doing the job of the top guys.

And it's pretty funny. When you get a replacement football team whose members include a convict, a cop, a thief, a sumo wrestler, and a deaf guy…who can line dance, you're in for some laughs. The dialogue is pretty funny and the characterization pretty good. This motley crew makes for some very interesting character foils that play off one another pretty well. The football action and soundtrack are pretty good, too. You feel like you're watching a music video produced by ESPN sometimes but hey, at least you're never bored.

The weakest points of this movie lie in its predictability and its lead who's best known for his blank stare. From the very beginning, you know the drill. And it just keeps on going. It's a really good thing that an irresistible joke or a blast of funky music, strategically placed, is around to keep you from going on automatic pilot.

And then there's Keanu, playing the part of Shane Falco, a promising college quarterback who fumbled his chance to make it big in the NFL during the Sugar Bowl. Now earning a living cleaning boats, he gets the chance to redeem himself by leading the replacement team. He's really lucky that he doesn't have any heavy dramatic rendition to deliver in this film (unless screaming while maintaining a fixed stare counts). Or else they would've had to call a replacement actor for him. Hehehe. Sorry. 'Couldn't resist.

But what Keanu lacks in acting ability, the supporting cast makes up for. The rest of the football team does a credible job. All the laughs come from them, actually. And Brooke Langton as Keanu's cheerleader by day, bar owner by night girlfriend is okay, too. We think she's a bit old to be playing a cheerleader, much less wearing those skimpy outfits, but hey, we don't do the casting. We also noticed that she's barely featured dancing! But hey, we don't do the directing. Speaking of the rest of the cheerleading team, though, we see them dancing alright…and doing a lot more of er..other stuff. You'll see what we mean.

Overall, The Replacements is an okay movie that entertains, although fails to surprise. But you get some football, some laughs, and some booty. Hmmm…When we put it that way, it sure sounds good, doesn't it?

Ebert's satisfaction:

ebert says	moviegurus say
It's like a standard sports movie, but with every point made twice or three times--as if we'd never seen one before.	We agree, old man. We've seen it all before. But we don't think the movie's THAT redundant. It doesn't make its point twice or three times. Maybe that's just your degenerating mind playing tricks on you. Hee-hee!
And the musical score provides such painstaking instructions about how to feel during every scene, it's like the booklet that tells you how to unpack your computer.	Hey, we liked the musical score! It got us pumped up…You know? Got us in the mood. We actually felt like standing up and dancing a couple times. Maybe the music was too loud for you, Mr. Ebert?!
In The Replacements, Hackman and Reeves are the heroes, and most of the other characters provide low comedy…	Nuh-uh! Uh-uh! The other characters, as you call them, are the ones who give the high comedy. Ooooooh…Maybe you didn't get the jokes. Yeah, that's it.
The football footage is at least mostly comprehensible; director Howard Deutch tries to make sense of the plays, instead of opting for shapeless montages of colors and action, as Oliver Stone did in Any Given Sunday.	We liked the football action, too! Very exciting and engaging. And funny at times. It was like watching a string of ESPN bloopers…only they're not bloopers, 'cuz the plays actually work. Um…You know what we mean, right?